It’s natural to want to talk to people. You feel excited when something is happening in your business and you have a new opportunity coming up – but have you stopped telling the people close to you about your achievements because every time you do, you receive a hostile or negative reaction?
When you talk about new projects coming up in your business with positive intentions, and you’re communicating because you’re excited or you want to inspire, it can be deflating when the response you receive isn’t what you expect.
You can tell you’ve hit a nerve, and the conversation becomes awkward so you stop having those conversations with people, and that’s a shame.
Obsessively Making Comparisons
So many people spend their time in comparison obsession, feeling less significant than other people, watching what they are doing and wanting their success – it’s easy to create an illusion of how other people’s lives are behind the scenes.
We’ve all been guilty of overlooking the hard work that went into someone’s achievements and it’s important to have empathy and think about how you have felt or reacted in the past. When you have empathy you put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
I had a six-figure book deal with HarperCollins for a book called the Lunch Box Diet. I took the simple concept of eating from a lunchbox and wrote a best-selling book. Many of the personal trainers working with me were triggered when my book deal happened because they ate from lunchboxes too – but they hadn’t taken the action that I did and they didn’t see how hard I’d work to achieve that deal.
When you talk about things people become aware of their own lack of action.
When you share what you’re achieving and how you’re gaining momentum, it shuts other people down because you’re doing the things they are not.
The next time you express your achievements and you get a snarky remark remember it’s because they’re triggered about something in their unconscious.
Avoid The Trigger Loop
What you don’t want to create is a trigger loop – you verbalize something because you’re excited, it triggers someone’s negative response and that triggers you. You want to create space for communication to happen so you can continue to openly speak about what you want to.
They won’t even know why they made the remark, because they’re living unconsciously.
Most people don’t understand that a trigger is the feeling you get to trigger an action or a reaction.
Most of the time that happens unconsciously. People say things and they’re not aware of what or why they’ve said them – it ends up becoming a fight and the energy between you is off so you need some space from them. Then you have a conversation about apologizing – all that stems from that initial trigger; it’s not about you doing anything wrong.
If you go into a conversation with the intention of wanting to get to the other person, the responsibility is on you and you need to take a look at yourself. If you have a conversation with good intentions, you’re sharing your success, and suddenly you feel a shift in energy, it’s because you’ve triggered a feeling within someone else – their feelings are transmitted by a shift in energy and that energy shift comes out verbally.
It’s important to let people know how you feel about their response. When you feel triggered be calm and share with how it makes you feel. If you don’t have that discussion you can bail and run.
Success Isn’t Easy
There’s a misconception of what it takes and the effort that’s led up to the moment that you share your success. A sale or an opportunity doesn’t just arrive. There’s so much build-up behind the scenes of getting to the deal, but if you haven’t shared all of that build-up people create an illusion that it’s easy for you when it wasn’t.
People don’t understand what it really takes to become successful.
That’s what people get frustrated at, and that’s what causes people to think that success is easy. If you’re only sharing when you get the instant win your success will seem too easy.
People Fear Losing You
Success can bring change; the reason some people don’t succeed in business is that they feel guilty for wanting success, so they either consciously or subconsciously sabotage themselves and their business.
You have fear of failure and fear of success.
People close to you can be scared of losing you and will react because they don’t want you to leave.
The idea of your success can trigger fears of rejection and abandonment. If you don’t know a person’s history and you’re not aware they have a fear of abandonment or rejection, you’re not going to be able to have empathy because you don’t know the full story.
How Conscious Are the People Around You?
As you raise your self-awareness and you grow from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset remember that other people think differently to you.
A lot of people are in the mindset of survival, scarcity, and fear.
Understand that if you’re talking to your parents and they’ve not done any personal development, then having an abundance mindset may be unfamiliar to them.
If someone is feeling happy within, they’re going to be happy for you.
If someone is feeling negativity within them, the achievement you bring up will come up for them as negativity. It’s important you don’t let other people project their pessimistic views on you.
Your Timing Is Crucial
t’s very important to recognize the timing of sharing something. If you’re at a family gathering, you notice the energy is off and you share your achievement and joy, your timing may not be aligned with the energy of the environment.
That can be why you may not get the reaction you want. You need to be aware of what’s happening and your timing.
Timing and success are very important, just as the timing of your sharing of success is very important.
People often don’t celebrate themselves. If you want other people to have a good reaction to your achievement champion their successes even if they’re small. When you champion the things other people have done that they may not see as a win, you’re pre-framing your own sharing.
When they feel good about themselves they’re more likely to celebrate your win and genuinely feel happy for you.
Who’s In Your Community?
Put yourself in an environment of people who are achievers, a bit further along than you and who are going to champion you. Sometimes you need to stop yourself speaking to the people who don’t want to listen; it might not be the right time for them.
I have a community within the super high performance formula – people who are into personal growth, who are also coaches and consultants, and business owners who are committed to growing personally and professionally.
You need other people to be able to discuss what’s really happening behind the scenes of your business so you can thrive.
Suppression is a killer. I don’t want you to not talk about or suppress anything that’s important to you in your personal life, your successes, and your achievements. When you suppress it lowers your energy and that affects your confidence.
When you share and talk about things that are happening within a like-minded community, that allows that energy to flow. It allows it to blossom. It allows it to grow.
You have more energy to be in alignment with your mission and to put into your next projects because you’re celebrating.
Celebrating is energy in motion.
Celebrating is you expressing, and a big part of your evolution is celebrating your wins.